I was watching Paris-Nice the other day with my daughter and she asked "what do all the team names mean?" Erm...i havn't got a clue was my response.

So many hours later after scouring the t'interweb i have come up with a list of what i have found so far with regards to who is sponsored by who or what.These are all accurate and definately true. I know coz the computer said so.

AG2R (ah jer duzz errr).aka Anyone Good? 2 riders! Brave choice for a team name i thought.

 Astana (Ass Tanna) The first of the russian teams. This one is sponsored by Russia's biggest Health spa. aka Ass tanning agency

 Argos Shimano (Are Goss Shim Anno) - sponsored by a catalogue shop and fishing reels

 BMC (Bee Em See) Some dispute over this but the majority believe its 'Bring Me Cheese'

 Blanco (Blank oh) Sponsored by a TV show from the sixties featuring Phil Silvers

 FDJ (Eff Duh Jurrr) Direct translation means 'French Drunk Journalists, normally seen knocking cyclists in to barbed wire fences

Euskatel Euskadi (Uss cattle Uss Caddy) Something about oranges we think

 Orica Green Veg (Awe Reek Ah Green Veg) Mr Orica's Fruit and Veg store, A small family business in a suberb of Canbera

 Lotto Belisol (Lot Oh Belly Soll) Joint venture between belgian bingo halls and a haemoroid cream

Movistar (Moo Vee Star) Like Eurostar but from Movistan in Russia

SKY (erm....SKY) Anagram of Sirs, Knights and Young 'uns

Saxo Tinkoff (Sacks Oh Tin Cough) Yet another Russian team this time sponsored by the Russian Citroen Saxo Owners Club











I couldn't find any details of Cannodale, Lampre Merida, Trek Radioshack Nissan, Garmin Sharp or Vacansoleil. if you would like to offer your thoughts about these teams....please do let me know.

E3 or Omloop? Can't I have both?

HOLY CRAP! Its here. Its actually here. Cobbles baby. First up is E3 Harelbeke followed by Omloop.
So i had a look and found some facts. Once again Boonen is' da man'. I think he has pretty much pissed all over Belgium claiming it as if he was a horny tomcat. 

Tom Boonen holds the record for the most wins in E3 with five victories( count them bitches), coming in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2012. He really is the big dog! Can he do it this year? Not in my eyes. I feel its time for new blood. I reckon 'the bear' Ian Stannard.

The on to one of my favourite races. Omloop baby!!!!!
Interestingly, Boonen the tom cat doesnt feature in the record books much.

The record for wins is three, held by Joseph Bruyère (1974, 1975 and 1980),Bruyère also has the fastest speed (43.35 km/h) for 1975.

 Ernest Sterckx (1952, 1953 and 1956)

 and Peter van Petegem (1997, 1998 and 2002).

.

My daughter is an inspiration. She was born with a poorly liver and at the age of seven she had a liver transplant. Now at the age of 12 she is insistant on helping others. She has never thought herself as different to others.

The other day she hear that the hospital she was treated at and where she pretty much grew up, was to lose its heart surgery centre. This upset here dearly and , of her own head she decided she would make things to sell to help to raise money.

So my request to all my friends and followers, please if you can, make me offers of these little keep-sakes. Lydia has said she will also send a blank card so you can give the item to a loved one as a gift.

My daughter never ceases to amaze me with her compassion. After every thing she has been through, she still puts others first.

Please help if you can. Even if its just a couple of pounds. You can email me at mellenrichard@gmail.com. cheques postal orders to be made out to 'Lydia Mellen' and she is taking money to hospital with her.

piglet cross stitch by Lydia for sale.

Two little elephant pin cushions can be coloured with fabric pens. made by Lydia

one year done...

So I took up something  new last year, I learned to be a commissaire. You can read about it here on the gazzetta home page. (While you are there, why not join our brilliant club).

But also celebrating 12 months in a new job is Charly Wegelius.  One of my all time favourite riders turned DS last year for Garmin. Here are a couple of videos of the living legend himeself. Seems his new role is a lot more stressful than mine....or, i'm just not taking it at all serious.

Madness is upon us

The Spring classics are almost upon us and more importantly, the cobbled classics of northern France and Belgium are almost upon us. This year they more than ever there seems and air of unpredictability about the outcome of these races. So many new teams and team structures. So many new faces in the pro peloton. An era of clarity maybe upon us? Large swathes of the peloton may have suddenly stopped seeking outside assistance. I personally think this year more than ever is wide open. Who could win. I mean its the first time since 1936 the George Hincapie hasn't taken part.

The first race of the season (that matters) is Omloop het Nieuwsblad. Mid February. The sadist in me prays for snow to really give the tough guys a shot. Remember Chris Sutton winning Kuurne Brussels Kuurne when i think only 23 riders finished. This is what I love about these races. 200 guys may start but only 20 could finish. I love races that just destroy the pack. I really think the best rider genuinely wins.

This still doesnt answer who will reign on the cobbles this year though. Last year was definately Tommeke's year winning four races E3 Harelbeke, Gent Wevelgem, de Ronde and paris Roubaix. He is certainly looking fit and strong currently but is he strong enough to dominate again? You certainly cant count him out.

Then we get to Fast Phil. He is certainly the man of the moment especially as he sporting a new tramp stamp on his ankle. A shocking year last year until he won the worlds. The stripey jumper will just fire him up even more. He'll be out to prove a point and settle some scores. My money will always be on Phil.

The other rider to have a poor spring campaign last year was Fabian - crashing in de Ronde stopping his campaign dead. You really cant count him out. If he is fit strong and motivated it will be hard to hold him back.

So picked a winner yet? Lets just mix it up a bit more then. I'll chuck some names in and you tell me if they have a shot...

Ian Stannard - big aggressive steam train. so strong and powerful. he has already said he is targetting the spring classics

Steve Cummings - has proven he can just ride away from the world greatest riders

Iljo Kiesse - big strong belgian just coming into his own

Peter Sagan - young arrogant and strong. He could?

Alessandro Ballan - Nine feet tall and very strong.

Juan Antonio Flecha(aka Norman Stanley) - a new team VacanSoliel - if his name is picked out of the 'attack bag' in the morning he has to attack. its the VacanSoliel way.

Johhny Hooligan - why the hell not?

Thomas de Gendt - why the hell not? 

Any VacanSoliel rider - why the hell not? depends who's name comes out of the 'attack bag' on the bus in the morning.

Some wild outsiders for my own perverse amusement;

Adam Blythe - very capable of winning tough Belgian one day races. If he can just hold his attack to last 2km and not try from 20km out(paris-tours 2012)

JTL - who wouldnt love to see him fly up the final climb? I have no idea what he is like on the cobbles

Zak Dempster - I think he has a real talent and given a chance...BOOM Aussie rules

So who is going to win?

He's back

Why you should ride a bike...

Recently, Bex Love posted a blog about her tough decisions on whether or not to join our world of old clothing and filthy habits. In her blog http://blissdomestique.blogspot.co.uk/ she explains her pros and cons about the decisions ahead. Well let me just add my two penneth worth....She was bloody wrong.

The decision is already made to buy a bike. The seed is already sown in her pretty blond head because she is giving it serious thought. Ergo, discussing it it pointless. Futile even. The bike will always win. The only decision to be made is....MAX the credit card or ask hubster to buy it for her.

To help the poor lost Bex Love, I have made my own - and of course correct - list of Pros and Cons

Pros

1 Female cyclists are hot
2 Their bottoms are nice to follow
3 Female cyclists are hot
4 Lycra is awesome on women
5 Female cyclists are hot

Exhibit A- BOING!

Cons

1 Scabby knees in mini skirts are awesome....oh hang on this is a 'Pro'
2 Female cyclists are hot....dammit this one too
3 erm......cant really think of any
4 dammit woman buy a bike!

So, as you can see, my list IS exhaustive and there is no compromise. I utterly think Bex should go out and buy a Di2 equipped pashley princess.

Mapei - the ultimate feeder team

Whilst poking about on t'interweb, I found a few pics. Its amazing how many superstars began with Mapei...

not so sexy then huh girls

Young cuddles buttface

el grillo was still a lavae

Who's the daddy  Wegelius


How many more rode for this Ultra-team I have no idea

A lesson on winning

How to win - by Tom Steels

HAVE IT!!!!!!

Erik the German lost because he wore glasses that made him look like a cat

A new chapter

Followers of me on twitter will know, I've been unwell recently. Nothing too serious that will send me to my bed. But it has been a concern for me. Its a about a 6 to 8 week illness really. It started back March. A training ride for Flanders with Kev and Carol out in deepest East Yorkshire. A hard ball breaking route taking in a relentless number of climbs. Well, it broke me. I threw up in Carols car on way home and spent 2 full days vomiting and glued to the toilet. This illness left me with chronic stomach ache. It lasted 2 weeks easily. For two weeks I could hardly eat. I had to force food into me and continue to commute to work daily and work.(i have a very physical job that often leaves me unable to hold a cup at the end of the day). I had all this to do and it was getting closer to Flanders. I had to get well. I have already told you what happened in Flanders previously in this blog. I suffered. It is possible that it was as a result of this illness.

So on my return from Flanders, I thought it was just fatigue. The muscle aches, This dizziness. The headaches. I guessed I was just run-down. It never really occurred to me or even noticed that I wasn't really eating the usual amounts of food. I normally eat unreal amounts of food. The days passed, the weeks passed and I was eating less and less. Nothing seemed to appeal. Then what food I was eating, was passing through my body naturally but in 4-6 hours instead of 24 hours as in a normal person. The stomach cramps came back 2 weeks ago. Increasing in ferocity. I was being woken at 4am my pains in my belly. What the hell was going on? I thought all the worst things obviously. but I didn't have all the symptom of any one illness. Maybe one of each I had researched.

More alarmingly, I was still cycling. I rode to work one day. I felt tired as normal when I got home. I mean. why wouldn't I? I ride at 20+mph on my commute.I got up to ride the next day and my legs were shot. Even worse coming home. And that was it.  I was off the bike. unable to turn a pedal in anger. No strength, no stamina. Its taken me nearly a week to get over 2 days of cycling. My body was shot. I was physically empty. The belly aches got worse and food stopped going in completely. Last week I ate a days food over the entire week. Less that 200 calories a day as opposed to nearly 4000Kcal a day. I seriously thought something was very badly wrong. So to the Doctor I went. Tomorrow I get the results on my first batch of samples and tests. We will find out whats happening with my body. Or what I need to be doing.

The good news is, I have had 2 days of a virtually normal diet. and relatively normal bowel activity. The bad news? my belly still hurts like bastard.

What have I learnt? Well I think I have been overdoing it. I did tweet that I felt I knew how Charly Wegelius felt in his final year with Omega Pharma Lotto. When his body refused to take food.. I feel this has given me an insight in to how much pro riders much punish their bodies and how carefully they must have to look after their engines.. I push myself hard. Very hard. I have a hugely physical job and I ride like a steam train. Perhaps I am asking to much of my 41 and 3/4 year old body? I don't claim I am doing what the pros do. What I am saying is, there comes a point when your body will just say " enough already" you wont get a say in this. You just have to deal with it. I've only been on my bike 5 times in 7 weeks. Very rare for me.You as a cyclist have to look after your own engine. Fuel it right, rest it well and service it regularly. If you demand a huge output, you have to make sure the input if the right sort and a good quality. Get the balance all wrong...and you're toast!(or just eating toast for 2 weeks).

I hope this is the tail end of this illness. Only time will tell.

Take care of your bodies guys. Eat right, drink more water than you think and keep off the coffee. This is all i have done. And its working.

so far...

Giro d'Italia time....

Time for...

coolness

legends

hardmen

heroes

Fast Phil Gilbert

Man Crush Time - I love this guy so much

I finished what I started

One week on and I still have some muscle aches in my quads and my right calf. This year's Ronde van Vlaanderen was arguably the hardest thing I have ever done. Even harder than the pre-flanders ride with big-kev and CJ(and that ride made me throw up for 2 days). Even harder than last years RvV which broke Big-Kev.

As always the apprehension of the build up was incredible. See the route, the bergs my friends. It all made me buzz with excitement. This year was special for a number of reasons. Not just the change of course and finish town but because of the words of ego exchanged between Big-Kev and myself. and the fact that it marked a year since separating from my wife.

Last year, Kev and I went mildly prepared and rode with fire and got a damn good spanking. I suffered from being overweight and Kev had Sciatica. This year, Kev had ridden like pro in his preparation. 400km a week in the hills of East Yorkshire. I had moved house and had a 15mile commute and had shed over a stone in weight. How could we lose?

This year my best friend and neighbour Mel came with us. This was gonna be an eye opener for her. Sheer madness sharing a car and hotel with us too heathens.

The Start - oh you're smiling now...

not sure which climb but as always side by side Big-Kev

So Saturday morning came and dang!! it was soooooo cold. bitterly so. This was my first problem. I had forgotten my sexy le Col jacket. I also forgot my Garmin. Problem number 2. We rolled out of Oudenaarde just before 10am riding along the river until the routes separated and we waved goodbye to Mel. Kev and I soon found a small group and tagged on. Rolling at a good tempo and even trying to drop a couple of Belgians didn't seem to matter. We were riding like gods.

16km in the Molenberg approached. Kev and I did our usual "good luck mate, see you at the top". We tipped into the bottom of the Molenberg from the far right of the road and for a brief moment felt a little bit pro. I hit the berg hard at about 25mph and just applied power. And it came in bootfuls. Stamping on the pedals I flew up the Molenberg and shot out of the top past a group of cheering Belgians...one of which shouted Big Ring and pointed at me. I rolled over the summit grinning like an idiot and looking over my shoulder for Kev. Sadly Kev got his gearing wrong and lost all his speed and almost stopped. Shame. Much back patting ensued and we rolled onwards to the next cobbles. The morning pretty much blurs here until we get to Koppenberg. again, rolling along the flat at well over 20mph we had a massive peloton behind us. no-one was coming through. This told us we had a high speed.. Turning left into the Koppenberg this year, we put the power down and began yelling as we shot up the left hand side of the road. the groups moved and we hurtled towards the steep section. This year I had Kev's wheel and I was keeping it. Heads down and spinning we climbed higher and higher. Kev spotted a gap in the crowds and slipped through. At this point the gap closed and I was off. My last view was Kev bouncing skywards through the crowd. I screamed "GO ON KEV" The whole berg spun around to see who was shouting. Amazing to see him ride effortlessly up.

This set a rhythm for the day. Fast flats and bergs ticked off. Taaineberg I loved, Eikenberg was easy, Varent and Foreest were fast and fun. Each time we rolled into a cobble section or berg. "good luck mate - see you at the top" sometimes Kev up first some times me. The flat sections were my favourite. I love just stamping out a big gear and bouncing over them. Even an errant water bottle couldn't take me off. Merely riding over it. Front wheel skipping sideways into the dust. but maintaining all my speed. I love the cobbles.

Giving the taainenberg a damn good spanking

Oude Kwaremont - it all came out here

Unfortunately the lack of garmin and warm jacket meant I was beginning to suffer. Riding beyond my ability and getting colder. I wasn't eating enough and I began to get very cold. Kwaremont was fast approaching...

Cresting the hill, we shot down the main road to the foot of Kwaremont at over 50mph. I know it was 50mph as I spin out at 49.7mph on my compact. Turning right and right onto the bottom of Oude Kwaremont we applied the power again. Only this time, nothing came. I was empty. Only pain in my legs. Kev disappeared up the road.

Some of you will know, I have an emotional switch for moments when I need to apply supreme levels of effort. This was that time. Flicking though the cassette was running out of gears and getting ever slower. I looked down at my top tube and saw my sticker (@roadbikedave) all the emotions of losing a friend came flooding back. Telling myself, its 20km to the end. Its only pain. Dave cant feel pain anymore Dave cant ride up hills anymore. COME ON RICH FUCKING DIG IN. I did dig in and slowly the power came back and before i knew it, I was on Kev's wheel again. Climbing through the village I drifted off his wheel again and once on the flat, I pulled him back again. I cried nearly all the way up with images of Dave  flooding my brain. Eventually the top came and the pain subsided. A huge pat on the back from Kev and we were rolling on to the patterberg. But alas, the cold, the effort and the lack of food meant that as soon as the steep bit came up, I was empty. I physically couldn't turn the pedals. I just stopped. It took all my effort to walk up. I was physically empty. Nothing left.A broken man and still 12km to go. As I got to the top I heard "MARIO" Kev shouting to make me laugh to spur me on.. We gathered ourselves at the top and rolled on.

I lost Kev. He kicked and just rode away. I was done. Leg pain and an empty tank. I hopped from group to group in what felt like a ferocious headwind. I saw the kilos tick away. 5km to go. 3 km to go 2km to go. .Everytime my head dropped, i saw the sticker on my top tube - @roadbikedave - and there was my next kick. Through 1km to go and there was Kev, waiting at 300m to go. We rolled over the line holding hands. "thanks for that buddy.that was fucking hard" i was empty. I had given 100% and left it all on the road.

We rolled though Oudenaarde to Qubus to find Mel. We had worried about Mel, Was she OK without phone coverage. Hope she is OK. She was waiting for us and apparently just got there. Unbelievably, we road 140km in the same time she rode 80km. no wonder i was dead. Unbelievably, in 2 years of riding with Mel, she has never seen me totally empty. This was that day. We were still in high spirits though. Taking the piss out of folk and devouring our body weight in Burgers, frites and beer!!! I love Belgium, pretty girls just thrust tins of beer in your hand.

Yes this was a good day. Fuck me it was hard. I have never felt pain and suffering on bike like it.But i did it. and like the commemerative Tshirt says, I finished what I started.

This week is the 6 month anniversary since we lost our friend Dave(@roadbikedave) I only knew him a short while but enough to call him friend. This amazing man continues to affect peoples lives as he did in his life.
This year's Ronde van Vlaanderen will be remember for years to come. Thank you Kev for being the best friend a guy could want. Thank you mel for being a tough cookie and riding that. And thank you Dave for getting home that day.

Kevin van Impe retires?

Kevin van Impe by @KristofRamon

Unbelievable as it sounds, Kevin van Impe has announced his retirement today. I have little to say on this matter other than he will be missed. I always enjoyed seeing him bounce off the front of the peloton. A Joy to watch. I would like to wish him the very best for the future.

Nokere Koerse 2012

Nokere berg passage

I just love this picture. It shows just so much. I found it on Kristof Ramon's flickr stream. He is arguably one of the best photographers of cycling out there,

Just look at the faces of these riders. Mid pack, burrying themselves. Its torture, elation, pain, suffering, exquisite joy. So many things can be can be gleaned from this one snapshot of a race. One of the best i have seen of a modern race that really made my hairs stand on end.

Brilliant work Kirstof....more please.

Time to roll out the hard men

Yes yes yes its that time of the year when i start getting giddy. You know what this weekend is?

Its the magical Omploop het Nieuwsblad / Kuurne-Brussells-Kuurne weekend.

Kuurne-Brussels-Kuurne 2010

Omloop Het Nieuwsblad

This weekend is what i think really says the spring is here. Its will no doubt be blowing a gale, raining sideways and snowing like hell. Only 20 riders will finish and they will have frost bite and numb nether regions. And, to make it just a little harder, they're ride over the cobbles surrounding Oudenaard for the first of many weekends. Cobbles which are horribly hard in the dry but are just trecherous in cold and wet conditions. It really is a weekend to show early form or just to be a double hard bastard. Some scary 85kg flandrian may very well win.There'll be no skinny 60kg winners here. This is my kinda riding. Me and Big-Kev would kick ass at this.

Sweet baby jebus i really love springtime in Belgium.

BOOM!

In your face UCI pro-tour teams

Heroes of the cobbles

Paul Deman  1889 - 1961






The first ever winner of Ronde van Vlaanderen in 1913 over a distance of 330km which incidentally culminated with four laps of a small wooden circuit around a pond in Ghent.


His cycling career is not terribly remarkable. A winner at Bordeaux-Paris over the insane distance of 592km. His story becomes more poignant with the outbreak of the first world war.


He Joined the Belgian Espionage Service smuggling documenst into Holland. His life and cycling career was almost cut dramatically short when he was captured by the Germans and was due to be shot. Thakfully, the Armistice intervened and was released.


Following the war, he started racing again and won Paris-Roubaix  and Paris-Tours

Heroes of the cobbles

Eric Leman  1946 - date

Continuing my discovery of hard men of Flanders. I found this chap. I thought i knew cycling but then, i'd never heard of this chap. Another scary Belgian rider.

So let me tell you about this chap. There are no stories of this chap drinking his weight in beer and winning races. Or riding with a broken leg on a bike made of cheese. But this guy for a period in the 60s and 70s pretty much won everything. including winning de Ronde van Vlaanderen an impressive three times in 1970,1972,1973.

He also won such scary hard races as Kuurne-Brussells-Kuurne, Omloop Vlaamse, Four days Dunkerque, Four days Flanders, many stages of Paris-Nice, Vuelta and five stages at the Tour de France.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, Eric Leman. Another hard riding Belgian that rode like his life depended on it.

Heros of the cobbles

Alberic Schotte. 1919 - 2004

Never heard of him? hardly surprising. A little known Belgian cyclist of the 1940s.
So whats so special about him? How about, he was twice Road race world champion in 1948 and 1950. Twice winner of the Ronde van Vlaanderen in 1942 and 1948. And competed in 20 Tours of Flanders between 1940 and 1959. He was nearly 40!

He was a fiersome athelete and earned the nickname in the peloton of Iron Briek. A phenomonal competitor and has a statue in Waregem in Flanders. A revered cyclist of a bygone era.

Following his retirement he became a coach of his beloved sport. He died in 2004 on the very day of the Ronde van Valaanderen. I'm sure he smiled on his way to heaven.